I knew that if I even let one single thought pass by this wall built up painstakingly, that I would regret it.
I knew that if I let my thoughts run awry and all over the place, things would turn out like it had previously. And previously. And previously.
I knew that if I did not guard my heart properly, it would result in many sleepless nights and worrying days, characterized by distractions and then frustrations.
I knew that if I did not try to control this, that I would be the one left to pick up the pieces. Because control is subjective and I choose to believe that nobody around me knows what I am going through.
I knew that if I went ahead and entertained these persisting thoughts, I would need to deal with the consequences sooner or later. And it proved to be the former rather than the latter.
So can anybody tell me why, despite knowing all the trouble I would incur because of this foolishness, I chose to go ahead with it anyway?
Futile results, only things left now are even more unanswered questions.
And yet the mind can only respond "I told you so. I told you so. I told you so." What am I to do now?
