Planes, flight, another world.

Just a few nights ago, I was doing some work in the middle of the night. Felt super lethargic and stressed so decided to take a breather and naturally, looked out the window. I know I always mention how I prefer studying at night because I love listening to the quietness the night brings along with it. That night, I spotted a plane in the sky, taking off to wherever it was destined to land a couple hours later. Instinctively, as the plane ascended higher and higher up into the clouds, so did my thoughts fly along with it.

The imagery of planes really stirs this compelling urge somewhere deep within me to just leave everything, pack a bag, and go hop on one just so I can get out of Singapore and start an adventure, myself. Out in the world somewhere is a whole different population of people. Different timezone, different season, different culture, different sights and places to appreciate and admire. I'm stuck in this tiny small room with a mountain pile of books and papers in front of me, but compared to all this, there's something more. Life goes on right? As I'm typing down these words, one by one, someone is waking up and drinking coffee, reading newspapers and preparing himself for a brand new day. Someone else shares an umbrella with the person she loves, both squealing with laughter as they race through the empty streets illuminated by nothing other than tall lampposts, immersed in no one else but each other (It's raining now so I just got this thought hehe). Someone has just been born, someone's fulfilling life may just have ended blissfully.

I want to climb mountains, sit in small cozy cafes the whole day drinking cup after cup of coffee and people-watching, walk through crowds of people at the junctions of the busiest road in another town, explore hidden tiny street lanes, be able to smell the fragrance of flowers every morning that I wake up, be excited over snowflakes leaving their imprints on my window, wear a winter jacket and beanies and still feel the chill of the air, eat ice creams in winter just to see how long they take to melt (never), and just be somewhere where I don't have to care what I do because no one knows me at all.

Sometimes, or most of the time actually, we're so immersed in our own small little lives we forget that there's actually a whole gigantic large system that's happening beyond our immediate line of vision. I can see the expressway just next to my house, but this very single expressway leads to a whole transportation network of other expressways, linking all the obscure Singaporean roads to each other. The causeway leads to a new country that is Malaysia even, and from there we can always hop on a boat or aeroplane to pretty much wherever. Southeast Asia. Asia. Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn, even as far as Europe and Greenland and Antarctica. The world. Even the universe and the entire galaxy, how small are we all as mere people?

Back to that particular night, as my eyes traced the plane, I wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, creating new memories in a completely new place.

Wanderlust strikes again. And back to the books.

Heartfelt.

Today I was upset over something and for the first time in a really long time, I cried. I cried myself to sleep and gave myself 2 hours to cry everything out and promised to put all this behind me and try harder next time. Now I'm awake at 1.51am, with swollen puffy eyes, feeling so groggy but thankfully, also feeling so much better.

It's amazing how when you're upset people are there for you every step of the way, comforting you, asking after you regularly to make sure you're fine, even bearing with all your angsty, bitchy nonsense because they know you're just in a terrible mood and it will pass when you have cooled down. I'm sorry I have been such a horrible friend, only thinking of my own interests and ignoring what all of you have been trying to tell me. There's no reason to doubt my abilities when all of you believe in them so much. Need to start having more faith in my capabilities, but where to start?

I blogged once about being halfway up a ladder and a force constantly pushing you back. I know how that feels, and the feeling isn't something that one wants to experience, ever. Sure, setbacks help to build one's resilience, but what about multiple setbacks even after resilience has been built up so much? At some point, won't everything start crashing down, won't everything that has been accumulated start to crumble or crack at the lack of accomplishment? Tonight, I have crumbled, but I promise that I will get back on my feet, more importantly, start climbing that ladder again. I feel like I don't have enough time, but I know that's merely just an excuse. There's always gonna be time, it's how I'm planning on using that time. (Oh man, what a cliche again). I will finish this tough climb up, and emerge strong(er) than I am now.

I just happened to look out of my window. Everything looks so familiar, just as it always once was in the middle of the night. However, tonight, I see that the street lamps are glaring just a little bit brighter, I hear leaves rustling and falling onto the road (something I haven't seen for a long time), trees are swaying vigorously so it probably means it's going to rain, and I feel an impeccably strong sense of peace in my heart right now. I really hope this positive feeling lasts, cos I'm definitely going to need it. Thank God for helping me to see the light even in the darkness, all the time.

Care.

She laughed with glee as she sprinted across the courtyard, her little fingers balled into fists as she tried her best to keep up with the animal in front of her.

"Coco, come back here now!" She screamed, the wide grin never ever leaving her face as she chased after her beloved golden retriever. At last, panting, she caught up to him. He was such a handsome boy, and when he sat up straight, he was taller than the small 7 year old girl. Looking up at his owner, Coco nudged his furry head against her cheek, wagging his tail like no tomorrow. The girl hugged her pet tightly to her, as if she would never let go.

"I'll never, ever let you go. I love you too much." She whispered the words to nobody in particular, thankful that she had him for company, wherever she went. Coco heard, and he understood every single word of it.

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When we decide to adopt a pet, we have the responsibility to look after it. We should do all we can to provide a loving home for the pet, even treat it as family. Humans know this instinctively, they know that they are obliged to take care of the pets that now belong to them.

But what about humans? Why do humans sometimes not bother to show some care and concern to fellow humans? Sometimes, things get overboard and ironically, humans don't care for their loved ones even. I was visiting at an old folks' home for one of my university modules yesterday, and I was stricken with grief most of the time, I would say. Ever since young, I dreaded going to old folks' homes and the like because I knew I would have a hard time witnessing the things that were happening around me. Outside, some of the elderly look so joyful, so at peace and they laugh heartily when you sit down and talk to them. But I know that no matter how optimistic they look on the outside, inside of them are just fragile souls wanting to be included, wanting to be loved by their own family members.

Yet, some of these family members want nothing to do with their elderly parents at all. I heard so many real-life stories of some of the elderly in the nursing home, and throughout, my heart broke again and again because some situations were just so terrible. Only one thought coursed through my mind:

Humanity is really, really ugly.

How can people bear to treat their loved ones with such cruelty and coldness? Have they not remembered that their parents were the ones who brought them up, gave them the opportunity to be where they are now? Yet not a single ounce of filial piety has been instilled in them. It was such a thought-provoking instance, I know I haven't expressed my feelings as well in this post, its really fueled by emotions but I'm really quite sensitive about this issue (sorry guys).

Told my daddy about my visit to the nursing home yesterday and he asked me earnestly "Will you take care of me in the future?"

I replied "I will never ever put you in the nursing home, you can come and live with me haha"

And the smile on his face is something I really cannot describe in words. Let's learn to love and be thankful for the people around us, every single day before its too late for regrets. This week has taught me so much about how its important to love.

Nugget.

Sorry for my long absence! Just wna leave a thought on this space since I haven't been writing much these few weeks. School has been hectic and everything else just seems to eat into the supposedly free time I have.

Tonight's mood is a rather pensive one, have been thinking alot about things. How replaceable can one person be?

‘They all leave in the end, it’s just one more.’ 

I had this thought. And perhaps it is true. Since everyone leaves in the end, why do we bother with friendships so much now? Dont get me wrong, it's just a thought.

I will be back, hopefully soon, with a proper post. Today's one was just to write things down and make myself feel a little less horrible. Thank you for sticking by this space, love you all <3

#30daychallenge Day 10

#30daychallenge
Day 10 : Write a Short Poem 
16th August 2013

This is completely random. Gonna challenge myself to come up with a poem on the spot. Honestly, I used to write lots and lots of poems a few years back, it was a way of expression and the words would come freely. I haven't done it in a long time, so the poetic chamber of my brain is undoubtedly rusty (and sleepy because it's 1am!). Gonna give it a shot anyway!

Dark is her surroundings, and silence is heightened
She glances out the window, the vast sky comes into view
Stars are twinkling, because of their company the moon seems to brighten
The constructed thoughts filled her mind
And as quickly as they came, so away they flew. 

When a pebble hits a water's surface
So do ripples form
They spread out in circles, floating out in gentle waves 
When a pebble is thrown at a tree, it's leaves rustle wildly
As if to protest in anger 
The disruption that invaded their moments of serenity.

When thoughts occupy a person's mind
It is difficult to erase away
This time they caused her pain and worry, 
But on the outside, she had to pretend to be fine. 

Those thoughts once brought her unending happiness
She felt like dancing around barefoot across the empty room
When reality decided to act out it's own plan, 
Sunny days came and gone, the impeding rain brought with it a face of ultimate gloom. 

Looking up at the stars,
She realized it was midnight, the clock had struck twelve
Holding the delicate dreams in her heart, she closed her eyes and made a wish
Whispered to the stars what she yearned for, a secret only to herself. 
She hoped one day the wishes would finally come true
Them maybe her dark grey skies would transform into a bright sky blue. 

I know this is cheesy, but hey, its the middle of the night. Got inspired by the scene outside my window (which is nothing more than darkness and street lights now). I have got to emphasize again, that I have not attempted a poem in ages. Do bear with me, and I'll be back with a post very soon. Happy weekends everyone! :D

#30daychallenge Day 9

I'm back after a crazy week of events! So sorry for going missing again guys, I've really been busy, what with a brand new semester starting and all, but I promise not to neglect this space for too long at a time! I know I have been lagging severely behind, and I honestly intended for this to be a one-shot-30-days kinda project, but I guess I have to modify that slightly because of the lack of time. ):

Anyway, here's Day 9 of the #30daychallenge! I hope you all enjoy reading hehe. :D

#30daychallenge - Day 9
If you've owned pets, list them here. If you never did, list pets you would like to have
12th August 2013

Since young, I have owned a variety of pets. Hamsters, rabbits, fishes (the most gorgeous blue fighting fish with a fancy swishy tail), a dog, guinea pigs... You name it, you have it. I loved them all and developed a connection towards each and every one of them, and as I grew older, the attachment to each pet grew stronger as well. 

I must say I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford so many pets, and the experiences I have with each one of them have been joyful ones for me, precisely because each pet was different and special in my eyes. Cliche, right? I don't know what other pets I will continue to have in the future, but the pet I would like to have would be the same one I once had and once loved with all my heart. 

                                          My incredibly handsome boy. 

I first got Cola when I was really young (like, 8 years old?), and when he first stepped into my house and into my arms, my young self promised I would never let him go. He was by my side for a good 12 years, before he finally grew old, passed on and left this world. I'm gonna dig up a post I wrote about him, because I don't think I could have expressed myself better than that. 

Listening to the radio now, this familiar song is playing once again.
I miss you waiting for me to come home, I miss the smell of your fur when I hugged you close every time I was sad, I miss how you were always the one to catch my falling tears.
I know you have departed from this world, so many years ago, but the time when you were there for me was one of the periods in my life I wouldn't forget.
You gave me the strength to approach others, to have confidence in myself, just knowing you were there to support me gave me all the courage I need.
But now you're gone, I have lost that special buddy I used to turn to when I was lost.
I know you are up there somewhere looking down at me, still wagging that golden brown tail of yours, wishing that I will be happy in whatever decisions I make.
I too, hope you are well. You taught me to give my all and be loyal to The people around me. And after all these years, you still hold that special place in my heart. No one or nothing will ever replace you, that is for sure.

I hope you are happy, Cola. I will always miss you, always love you.

- June 25th, 2012. 

You were once there for me, through every single up and down I faced, I knew I could tackle all the problems that were staring at me just because you gave me the strength to. Every day when I came home, I would feel so much better because of the way you looked up at me, every day I was reminded that there was somebody on earth that loved me regardless of how lousy I felt. I remember the day you left us, I refused to go send you off, because I was stricken with grief and crying under the covers at home. I blamed myself for not going to see you one last time, but I knew I couldn't bring myself to. Like I have said probably a thousand times, you are special to me, and even if you aren't physically here anymore, you will always be Cola to me, the dog that brought so much happiness to my life. Blogging about you makes me cry every single time, because deep down, I really, really miss you. I miss having such a steadfast companion, I miss the times when I could scoop you up and cuddle you close whenever I wanted, and how you were always that happy recipient of my affections, but not only that, you were an excellent giver of your love as well. 

I know you're in a better place now, and I am happy for you, Cola. 

Sending my love from earth. 

I love you. 

Oh goodness, this turned out to be such an emotional piece of writing, I have tears in my eyes now. Dogs are like humans in so many ways. To those who have dogs of their own, give them a hug and a kiss today alright? I don't think we can find better friends who stick by us through the good times and the bad. Hope you didn't get bored reading my (quite) long, sappy post. A happier one next time! 

Treasure Trove of Gold.

One Tin Soldier - Coven (1970)

Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley-folk below.

On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath the stone,
And the valley-people swore
They'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

So the people of the valley
Sent a message up the hill,
Asking for the buried treasure,
Tons of gold for which they'd kill.

Came an answer from the kingdom,
"With our brothers we will share
All the secrets of our mountain,
All the riches buried there."

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

Now the valley cried with anger,
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"
And they killed the mountain-people,
So they won their just reward.

Now they stood beside the treasure,
On the mountain, dark and red.
Turned the stone and looked beneath it...
"Peace on Earth" was all it said.

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Was reading an article on treasure hunting (Forrest Fenn's hidden treasure), and I was really fascinated. You can read it here. 
As humans, we always daydream to stumble upon a pot of gold one day, the key that unlocks the secret to riches, fame and everything materialistic one could ever imagine in the world. It is so funny that people go to such great lengths and possibly give up all they have to search all their lives for something that may never truly exist.

Treasure? 

I was reminded of the song above (click the video, someone illustrated it really well in picture form), which is a story about how people are so greedy for fortune that they killed the people who so generously offered to share the treasure, just because they wanted it for themselves. Is human greed something normal?

What if the treasure turned out to be something intangible, something that isn't physically present, yet could still mean the world to the person who hid it, hoping one day that the people who found it would finally understand that riches weren't the only asset they had gained, but the process that came with it was humbling enough to change their lives forever? 

Must treasure always be something that glitters, that can be sold for money, that can turn a nobody into an important person instantaneously? 

Not a post with much original content, but food for thought on a lazy, sleepy Sunday afternoon. Good day guys!