As
time passes, do some things start to lose significance to an
individual? When I was a child, I remember having this 101 dalmatians
stuffed toy that I loved like no tomorrow, I would bring it to meals,
bring it out shopping, bring it downstairs when me and my brother
went to the playground, and of course, bring it to bed with me at the
end of the day. Slowly, from a new soft toy with plush fur, it became
reduced to something with matted, blackish fur, and didn’t look as
clean and huggable as it used to. But being a kid, I still loved it
all the same. I screamed and cried and threw a huge tantrum when we
shifted houses and my mother tossed it in the trash, like it was,
literally, rubbish. I was angry, but as a kid, I wasn’t angry for
long. My mother bought me new stuffed toys, and I was satisfied once
again.
But
when something you are emotionally attached to, in the case of the
stuffed toy, is physically gone, does it mean the memory of it will
disappear with time as well? I disagree. Memories fade, yes they do,
but they don’t completely disappear. Rather, I believe that
good/bad memories seem to be tucked away somewhere in a dusty corner
at the back of all our minds. At times when we want to open this door
to access certain parts of this enclave, everything starts to pour
out as well, and we end up having a hard time shutting them back in.
I would call it a periodical routine because it happens quite often..
although it shouldn’t.
The
substance that lays behind this door of memories though, is seemingly
starting to shrink in expanse, it’s something I can’t explain but
something that I definitely feel. I guess going round and round
talking about stuffed toys and doors and memories is just to prove a
point for myself. Something that holds great meaning for me is fading
in terms of its importance in my life. Maybe last time, you were
important to me, even to the point of being indispensable. But now, I
don’t need you anymore. I’ve managed to beat this stupid monster
that has been getting me down all the time for the past half a year,
and maybe I’m beginning to show definite signs of recovery.
Even
magnets lose their magnetism after a period of time, that’s pretty
much the gist of my rambling.
August 24th, 2011.
