I love the winter season (that sadly, Singapore does not have). I have been to a couple of countries during their colder months and I have absolutely enjoyed every single second of it. When I was a kid, I saw snow falling in cartoons on the TV and I wanted to be in the middle of all the snow and have fun constructing snowmans and igloos too. I enjoyed my holiday in Korea years ago because it was freezing cold every morning when I stepped out of the hotel. I blew and there were puffs of mist forming in the dry air and I was so thrilled. I ate ice cream and got strange looks from people who walked by me, but I didn't care because it was so amazing that the ice cream had not melted even after 20 minutes. I climbed up on the tour bus and looked out of the window one exceptionally cold morning and there on the window screens were countless little pretty snowflakes that had formed overnight. I was so, so glad and I wanted to run outside and catch them in my hands. But sadly after a while they faded into nothing and I was so disappointed. But then I looked beyond that and I saw the whole ground blanketed by snow. And whenever we walked, the snow would crunch below our feet and freeze my toes through my woolly socks but I didn't mind. Not even until I got frost bite and had difficulty walking. There's something about winter that makes everything seem so much more tranquil, and these scenes do play in my head quite regularly. Am determined to see snow sometime soon, because I think it's really wondrous how the body can be shaking and shivering from the temperature, yet the heart feels nothing but warmth and more warmth.
But for now, back to reality because school starts again tomorrow. Good week ahead guys!
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
New start, new journey
It's been 3 whole weeks since I began my first full-time job, and I'm really amazed at how time seems to pass so slow and so fast at the same time. Before I began my job I was pretty worried about what the future held for me.
How would I fit in?
Would I get on well with my colleagues?
Would I be able to handle the students properly and not get things thrown at me?
Would I be able to meet the goals I had set out for myself?
All these questions whirled around in my head more than once. And I was really afraid that things wouldn't turn out the way I wanted it to. But now I look back and I can actually laugh at myself because now I see that things can never ever always turn out the way I want it to. Yet, I find myself still enjoying myself and trying to immerse fully into the process. and I am so thankful for the way things have turned out and excited for the way that things will continue to turn out no matter what gets thrown my way.
Quite a few people have asked me, why teaching? Why want to saddle yourself with children and youth of the 21st century who don't have manners, don't appreciate what you do for them, are spoilt and expect you to meet every demand of theirs? I couldn't answer because I have seen some children and how they don't behave, and I thought to myself I would be in for a difficult time. It's true, across these 3 weeks of teaching and supervising classes, I have met all sorts of students. Those that just wanna have fun and not have a care in the world even though their major examinations are coming up in less than 2 weeks time, those who are absolute jokers who crack the coldest, lamest jokes I have ever heard in my life, those who are rude and have feisty attitudes who just want to argue with you for the sake of it, I have seen them and yet I don't think that I have seen the worst. Initially I was speechless. How could kids these days be so daring and so thoughtless about consequences? There was more than one day I walked out of class feeling dejected and thinking I wasn't cut out for this at the back of my head.
But as each day passed, I realized that however sucky my day turned out, I could always find something to be thankful for without fail. Every. single. day. My colleagues and the school staff have been so, so fantastic and friendly to me, and everyday I get to know more and more people in school. Most of the teachers are older than me, yet they have such young hearts and by conversing with them and listening to their experiences, I really think I have learnt lessons that can't be systematically taught. For that, I really am appreciative and thankful.
The students were an eye opener for me because I have seen so many characters over the short span of 3 weeks. There are the rowdy mischievous ones, and on the other side of the spectrum there are the absolutely silent and shy ones. But I think the most interesting thing I observed while teaching the kids was that even the most naughty ones can be such sweet angels at times too. The Sec 5s just REFUSED to listen to me when I walked in the first lesson, but when I saw them in the corridor just a week later, they told me they were sad that they wouldn't get to have another lesson with me anymore. From rolling their eyes and talking back to me, they changed 180 degrees and said they would miss me when they graduated. And to see such a huge change even though I only saw them a couple of times really warmed my heart because I know deep down that they actually care. They care about themselves and the teachers and the people around them and even though they might not show it directly, their hearts are still that big. From seeing hundreds of unfamiliar faces everyday in school to having students shout bye to me as I leave school everyday is really heartwarming for me as well. I know it's something small, but being remembered by the kids is something I feel is quite significant. And for that I am thankful and happy too.
When people say that teaching requires passion, I used to think pshhh such a cliche. But now that I've experienced it for myself and even though it's just the beginning, I understand what that means. When people say that teaching is rewarding, I can also relate now. I think it's amazing how at the end of the day, I can feel so tired and burnt out and just wanna collapse on the floor, yet at the same time, feel so happy and glad and fulfilled that I'm blessed with such an awesome school to spend the next few months in. Things have been tough, but I trust that things will only get better as time goes by. Thank You God for the many opportunities.
How would I fit in?
Would I get on well with my colleagues?
Would I be able to handle the students properly and not get things thrown at me?
Would I be able to meet the goals I had set out for myself?
All these questions whirled around in my head more than once. And I was really afraid that things wouldn't turn out the way I wanted it to. But now I look back and I can actually laugh at myself because now I see that things can never ever always turn out the way I want it to. Yet, I find myself still enjoying myself and trying to immerse fully into the process. and I am so thankful for the way things have turned out and excited for the way that things will continue to turn out no matter what gets thrown my way.
Quite a few people have asked me, why teaching? Why want to saddle yourself with children and youth of the 21st century who don't have manners, don't appreciate what you do for them, are spoilt and expect you to meet every demand of theirs? I couldn't answer because I have seen some children and how they don't behave, and I thought to myself I would be in for a difficult time. It's true, across these 3 weeks of teaching and supervising classes, I have met all sorts of students. Those that just wanna have fun and not have a care in the world even though their major examinations are coming up in less than 2 weeks time, those who are absolute jokers who crack the coldest, lamest jokes I have ever heard in my life, those who are rude and have feisty attitudes who just want to argue with you for the sake of it, I have seen them and yet I don't think that I have seen the worst. Initially I was speechless. How could kids these days be so daring and so thoughtless about consequences? There was more than one day I walked out of class feeling dejected and thinking I wasn't cut out for this at the back of my head.
But as each day passed, I realized that however sucky my day turned out, I could always find something to be thankful for without fail. Every. single. day. My colleagues and the school staff have been so, so fantastic and friendly to me, and everyday I get to know more and more people in school. Most of the teachers are older than me, yet they have such young hearts and by conversing with them and listening to their experiences, I really think I have learnt lessons that can't be systematically taught. For that, I really am appreciative and thankful.
The students were an eye opener for me because I have seen so many characters over the short span of 3 weeks. There are the rowdy mischievous ones, and on the other side of the spectrum there are the absolutely silent and shy ones. But I think the most interesting thing I observed while teaching the kids was that even the most naughty ones can be such sweet angels at times too. The Sec 5s just REFUSED to listen to me when I walked in the first lesson, but when I saw them in the corridor just a week later, they told me they were sad that they wouldn't get to have another lesson with me anymore. From rolling their eyes and talking back to me, they changed 180 degrees and said they would miss me when they graduated. And to see such a huge change even though I only saw them a couple of times really warmed my heart because I know deep down that they actually care. They care about themselves and the teachers and the people around them and even though they might not show it directly, their hearts are still that big. From seeing hundreds of unfamiliar faces everyday in school to having students shout bye to me as I leave school everyday is really heartwarming for me as well. I know it's something small, but being remembered by the kids is something I feel is quite significant. And for that I am thankful and happy too.
When people say that teaching requires passion, I used to think pshhh such a cliche. But now that I've experienced it for myself and even though it's just the beginning, I understand what that means. When people say that teaching is rewarding, I can also relate now. I think it's amazing how at the end of the day, I can feel so tired and burnt out and just wanna collapse on the floor, yet at the same time, feel so happy and glad and fulfilled that I'm blessed with such an awesome school to spend the next few months in. Things have been tough, but I trust that things will only get better as time goes by. Thank You God for the many opportunities.
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