I have had about 4 blogs ever since I was introduced to social media, and over the span of almost a decade, I have written hundreds of blog posts. And I remember many a time when I wrote about nostalgia. It's such a cliche topic, sometimes I decide to close the webpage in the midst of drafting a post. But tonight, nostalgia hits again, in a strangely warming-your-heart-and-making-it-fuzzy way.
A friend showed me a video of my Junior College (link: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10153421830145492). I'm a sucker for tribute videos of ANY sort, and even the smallest prompts can bring about a huge wave of memories being unlocked for a super long time. I planned to watch like one minute of the video but I couldn't stop until the end. And as scene after scene of familiarity flashed before me, I sunk deeper and deeper into this pond of nostalgia. I miss SRJC. But then again, I miss my secondary school, SACSS. And turning the clock even earlier than that, I miss my primary school, SACPS, even.
I happened to watch another music video about growing up. It was filmed in such a moving way I couldn't help but be totally captured by it. Growing up is mundane, especially when you're living life in the moment. (Like right now, I'm typing this and 10 seconds have passed) You don't think much of it, but as time passes, and time seems to pass the fastest when you don't pay attention to it, you will one day look back suddenly and realize, what has happened? The classroom you once hated so much and couldn't wait to get out of, now becomes a memorial site where you look back on precious school day memories fondly. You walk past the bus stop where you waited for the school bus at 6am every morning ten years ago, sleepy-eyed and cursing the fact that you were awake at such ungodly timings. Now, it is half past twelve in the afternoon, the bus stop is empty, all the kids are currently in school. Momentarily, you are transported back to the past, where the sky is still dark, lights from the lamppost above seem exceptionally bright, the road is quiet except the occasional car zooming past. You eat your breakfast of kaya bread while waiting for the stupid school bus, wishing it wouldn't come so you can run home, jump into bed and sleep for a few more hours. But you know that doesn't happen, and as the bus arrives, you board it bleary-eyed, sighing at the thought of spending the entire day in school.
We wanted so much to grow up and grow out of school. But when we finally do leave school, we look back at those unbearable years and suddenly wonder why we didn't make the best of it then. I used to roll my eyes at people who reminded me time and again to treasure my school days, because you will never get them back. Stop being so sappy, I thought. But tonight, that video has unbelievably triggered off something within me and I desperately wanna return to the uncomplicated, spontaneous, youthful days. Yet I know it is impossible, unless someone builds a time machine in the near future. I think it's time to treasure each moment of our lives, before they dissolve into mere memories and slowly become forgotten over the years. Apart from that, thank God for advanced technology that can record our young and silly years. Something we can always look back to and feel fuzzy all over again is always something good, right?
P.S I love the song in the video, why is Mayday so awesome?! *fangirls
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
#30daychallenge Day 11
Hello guys! I am back FINALLY with another #30daychallenge!
I know it's been eons since my last writing challenge, but my fingers are itching to type something tonight so here it is! Hope you guys enjoy!
#30daychallenge Day 11
Post a photo of the outdoors // Write about life
Okay! I randomly scrolled through my photos and this is the one that first caught my eye, so I'm gonna use this one! This was taken just around a month and a half ago, at East Coast Park, Singapore. That day, my phone decided not to fail me, and I'm really glad it actually managed to capture the actual colours of the landscape (most of the time, the pictures my phone captures are just, duller than usual).
So, first thing that comes to mind when I look at this? Tranquility. Like, the "Tree of Tranquility" in the Harvest Moon series. But honestly, I love the blend of colours in the photo. It's like green, blue, white and a tinge of golden all mixed together to paint the most pretty scenery ever.
That afternoon, we took a really long walk along the stretch of East Coast Beach, looking for my friend's birthday chalet. I remember the sun was really high above us in the sky, and the weather was scorching so badly. Then we passed this pond, and stood under the trees for a while for some shade. When I was younger, I used to frequent ECP alot, since my grandmother's house was super nearby. When the clock struck 5pm, we would dig out all our pails and shovels, walk through the long echo-y tunnel and sprint the straight path right to the beach. We would dump our sandcastle-building equipment near the edge of the water, jump into the sea and splash each other with water, and then climb out again and start to challenge each other to see who could build the largest and prettiest sandcastle. I remember my grandmother would lay out a bamboo mat and sit down, yelling at us not to go too deep into the water. Sometimes, she would help us build the sandcastles patiently, while we went off to pick seashells. After we went back to her house, she would make us stand in a row, fetch a large pail of water and make us wash our feet before she would let us enter the living room. Those were the times man.
Anyway, back to the topic. I remember in those times, we were so fascinated when we first saw the pond. We ran right up to the edge of it and peered inside. Turtles! So many of them, we couldn't even count. They would peek their wrinkly heads out of the water to look at us, then dart back in as quickly as possible. We would bring bread to throw to them, and they would gobble the crumbs up with a greedy expression on their faces. We loved the pond.
Now, many years later, the memories slowly flow back as I stood there in the exact same spot, looking out into the middle of the pond. The turtles (at least majority of them) were no longer there. We could make out the outline of schools of grey fishes though, but as our shadows touched the water, they seemed to dissolve deep below the water's surface, until we couldn't see them anymore. The pond was stagnant, unlike the ripples that would form every few seconds in the past. There was a slight sea breeze, so the trees rustled really softly. We just stood there, drinking in the scenery before us. It was just a normal pond surrounded by really moist, damp grass, but it was more than that for me.
The green grass, the (murky) greenish-blue pond water, the sky littered with white fluffy clouds, all this blended together in an amazing way. Life; isn't it a blend of random sights that together make a more than perfect picture?
We happened to glance towards our right, and we spotted under the shade of the leaves a tent. Two people were inside of it, presumably catching some shut-eye on that quiet, humid afternoon. There was hardly anyone else around. Just us, the two sleeping people, and the slight breeze that blew past us. Life's Secret Garden.
I know it's been eons since my last writing challenge, but my fingers are itching to type something tonight so here it is! Hope you guys enjoy!
#30daychallenge Day 11
Post a photo of the outdoors // Write about life
Okay! I randomly scrolled through my photos and this is the one that first caught my eye, so I'm gonna use this one! This was taken just around a month and a half ago, at East Coast Park, Singapore. That day, my phone decided not to fail me, and I'm really glad it actually managed to capture the actual colours of the landscape (most of the time, the pictures my phone captures are just, duller than usual).
So, first thing that comes to mind when I look at this? Tranquility. Like, the "Tree of Tranquility" in the Harvest Moon series. But honestly, I love the blend of colours in the photo. It's like green, blue, white and a tinge of golden all mixed together to paint the most pretty scenery ever.
That afternoon, we took a really long walk along the stretch of East Coast Beach, looking for my friend's birthday chalet. I remember the sun was really high above us in the sky, and the weather was scorching so badly. Then we passed this pond, and stood under the trees for a while for some shade. When I was younger, I used to frequent ECP alot, since my grandmother's house was super nearby. When the clock struck 5pm, we would dig out all our pails and shovels, walk through the long echo-y tunnel and sprint the straight path right to the beach. We would dump our sandcastle-building equipment near the edge of the water, jump into the sea and splash each other with water, and then climb out again and start to challenge each other to see who could build the largest and prettiest sandcastle. I remember my grandmother would lay out a bamboo mat and sit down, yelling at us not to go too deep into the water. Sometimes, she would help us build the sandcastles patiently, while we went off to pick seashells. After we went back to her house, she would make us stand in a row, fetch a large pail of water and make us wash our feet before she would let us enter the living room. Those were the times man.
Anyway, back to the topic. I remember in those times, we were so fascinated when we first saw the pond. We ran right up to the edge of it and peered inside. Turtles! So many of them, we couldn't even count. They would peek their wrinkly heads out of the water to look at us, then dart back in as quickly as possible. We would bring bread to throw to them, and they would gobble the crumbs up with a greedy expression on their faces. We loved the pond.
Now, many years later, the memories slowly flow back as I stood there in the exact same spot, looking out into the middle of the pond. The turtles (at least majority of them) were no longer there. We could make out the outline of schools of grey fishes though, but as our shadows touched the water, they seemed to dissolve deep below the water's surface, until we couldn't see them anymore. The pond was stagnant, unlike the ripples that would form every few seconds in the past. There was a slight sea breeze, so the trees rustled really softly. We just stood there, drinking in the scenery before us. It was just a normal pond surrounded by really moist, damp grass, but it was more than that for me.
The green grass, the (murky) greenish-blue pond water, the sky littered with white fluffy clouds, all this blended together in an amazing way. Life; isn't it a blend of random sights that together make a more than perfect picture?
We happened to glance towards our right, and we spotted under the shade of the leaves a tent. Two people were inside of it, presumably catching some shut-eye on that quiet, humid afternoon. There was hardly anyone else around. Just us, the two sleeping people, and the slight breeze that blew past us. Life's Secret Garden.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Unspeakable Language
So recently, I found out about something really interesting, its this book written by this Italian guy. So what right, its just a book..
BUT! Its so fascinating in that it is written in an entirely unknown language, with weird illustrations of plants and animals and food and humans and hybrids etc etc.
"The book is an encyclopedia in manuscript with copious hand-drawn colored-pencil illustrations of bizarre and fantasticalflora, fauna, anatomies, fashions, and foods. It has been compared to the Voynich manuscript, Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius, and the works of M.C. Escher and Hieronymus Bosch."
I really, really love this kind of stuff! So when I found an online PDF copy of the book, I was super excited to browse through it. It was the entire book so it took pretty long to load up, but it was so worth it! The next half an hour I spent scrolling through page after page of colourful drawings of the most surreal pictures ever. I found it pretty therapeutic to look at those drawings and imagine what the author was probably trying to convey. I don't think people would bother wasting time on this like me, but then again, I think of the amount of time and effort put into creating this masterpiece and I get thrilled and excited all over again. Oh well, maybe I'm just weird like that.
I find the image on the right really adorable for some reason, imagine if trees could do that, they would never die out due to lack of water. Something awesome hehe
Weird birds. The way in which he illustrates his ideas really, really appeal to me, I don't know why too. Just very.. thought-provoking.
Most of all, I really love the COLOUR. The illustrations are all SO colourful and vibrant just looking at them makes me happier.
Hehe there are so many more pictures and I could take forever to think of what they could possibly stand for, but that's for me to do in my own free time. This post is kinda random, but that's what happens when I can't get to sleep.. You can explore this awesome work of art if you're as bored as me too!
http://www.cetteadressecomportecinquantesignes.com/Luigi.Serafini.-.Codex.Seraphinianus.pdf (thank God for online literature)
What if such pretty, obscure imagery came to life? I reckon it would be like living in a fantasy world, I definitely would embrace such oddity. (: Goodnight guys!
BUT! Its so fascinating in that it is written in an entirely unknown language, with weird illustrations of plants and animals and food and humans and hybrids etc etc.
"The book is an encyclopedia in manuscript with copious hand-drawn colored-pencil illustrations of bizarre and fantasticalflora, fauna, anatomies, fashions, and foods. It has been compared to the Voynich manuscript, Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius, and the works of M.C. Escher and Hieronymus Bosch."
I really, really love this kind of stuff! So when I found an online PDF copy of the book, I was super excited to browse through it. It was the entire book so it took pretty long to load up, but it was so worth it! The next half an hour I spent scrolling through page after page of colourful drawings of the most surreal pictures ever. I found it pretty therapeutic to look at those drawings and imagine what the author was probably trying to convey. I don't think people would bother wasting time on this like me, but then again, I think of the amount of time and effort put into creating this masterpiece and I get thrilled and excited all over again. Oh well, maybe I'm just weird like that.
I find the image on the right really adorable for some reason, imagine if trees could do that, they would never die out due to lack of water. Something awesome hehe
Weird birds. The way in which he illustrates his ideas really, really appeal to me, I don't know why too. Just very.. thought-provoking.
Most of all, I really love the COLOUR. The illustrations are all SO colourful and vibrant just looking at them makes me happier.
Hehe there are so many more pictures and I could take forever to think of what they could possibly stand for, but that's for me to do in my own free time. This post is kinda random, but that's what happens when I can't get to sleep.. You can explore this awesome work of art if you're as bored as me too!
http://www.cetteadressecomportecinquantesignes.com/Luigi.Serafini.-.Codex.Seraphinianus.pdf (thank God for online literature)
What if such pretty, obscure imagery came to life? I reckon it would be like living in a fantasy world, I definitely would embrace such oddity. (: Goodnight guys!
Planes, flight, another world.
Just a few nights ago, I was doing some work in the middle of the night. Felt super lethargic and stressed so decided to take a breather and naturally, looked out the window. I know I always mention how I prefer studying at night because I love listening to the quietness the night brings along with it. That night, I spotted a plane in the sky, taking off to wherever it was destined to land a couple hours later. Instinctively, as the plane ascended higher and higher up into the clouds, so did my thoughts fly along with it.
The imagery of planes really stirs this compelling urge somewhere deep within me to just leave everything, pack a bag, and go hop on one just so I can get out of Singapore and start an adventure, myself. Out in the world somewhere is a whole different population of people. Different timezone, different season, different culture, different sights and places to appreciate and admire. I'm stuck in this tiny small room with a mountain pile of books and papers in front of me, but compared to all this, there's something more. Life goes on right? As I'm typing down these words, one by one, someone is waking up and drinking coffee, reading newspapers and preparing himself for a brand new day. Someone else shares an umbrella with the person she loves, both squealing with laughter as they race through the empty streets illuminated by nothing other than tall lampposts, immersed in no one else but each other (It's raining now so I just got this thought hehe). Someone has just been born, someone's fulfilling life may just have ended blissfully.
I want to climb mountains, sit in small cozy cafes the whole day drinking cup after cup of coffee and people-watching, walk through crowds of people at the junctions of the busiest road in another town, explore hidden tiny street lanes, be able to smell the fragrance of flowers every morning that I wake up, be excited over snowflakes leaving their imprints on my window, wear a winter jacket and beanies and still feel the chill of the air, eat ice creams in winter just to see how long they take to melt (never), and just be somewhere where I don't have to care what I do because no one knows me at all.
Sometimes, or most of the time actually, we're so immersed in our own small little lives we forget that there's actually a whole gigantic large system that's happening beyond our immediate line of vision. I can see the expressway just next to my house, but this very single expressway leads to a whole transportation network of other expressways, linking all the obscure Singaporean roads to each other. The causeway leads to a new country that is Malaysia even, and from there we can always hop on a boat or aeroplane to pretty much wherever. Southeast Asia. Asia. Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn, even as far as Europe and Greenland and Antarctica. The world. Even the universe and the entire galaxy, how small are we all as mere people?
Back to that particular night, as my eyes traced the plane, I wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, creating new memories in a completely new place.
Wanderlust strikes again. And back to the books.
The imagery of planes really stirs this compelling urge somewhere deep within me to just leave everything, pack a bag, and go hop on one just so I can get out of Singapore and start an adventure, myself. Out in the world somewhere is a whole different population of people. Different timezone, different season, different culture, different sights and places to appreciate and admire. I'm stuck in this tiny small room with a mountain pile of books and papers in front of me, but compared to all this, there's something more. Life goes on right? As I'm typing down these words, one by one, someone is waking up and drinking coffee, reading newspapers and preparing himself for a brand new day. Someone else shares an umbrella with the person she loves, both squealing with laughter as they race through the empty streets illuminated by nothing other than tall lampposts, immersed in no one else but each other (It's raining now so I just got this thought hehe). Someone has just been born, someone's fulfilling life may just have ended blissfully.
I want to climb mountains, sit in small cozy cafes the whole day drinking cup after cup of coffee and people-watching, walk through crowds of people at the junctions of the busiest road in another town, explore hidden tiny street lanes, be able to smell the fragrance of flowers every morning that I wake up, be excited over snowflakes leaving their imprints on my window, wear a winter jacket and beanies and still feel the chill of the air, eat ice creams in winter just to see how long they take to melt (never), and just be somewhere where I don't have to care what I do because no one knows me at all.
Sometimes, or most of the time actually, we're so immersed in our own small little lives we forget that there's actually a whole gigantic large system that's happening beyond our immediate line of vision. I can see the expressway just next to my house, but this very single expressway leads to a whole transportation network of other expressways, linking all the obscure Singaporean roads to each other. The causeway leads to a new country that is Malaysia even, and from there we can always hop on a boat or aeroplane to pretty much wherever. Southeast Asia. Asia. Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn, even as far as Europe and Greenland and Antarctica. The world. Even the universe and the entire galaxy, how small are we all as mere people?
Back to that particular night, as my eyes traced the plane, I wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, creating new memories in a completely new place.
Wanderlust strikes again. And back to the books.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Heartfelt.
Today I was upset over something and for the first time in a really long time, I cried. I cried myself to sleep and gave myself 2 hours to cry everything out and promised to put all this behind me and try harder next time. Now I'm awake at 1.51am, with swollen puffy eyes, feeling so groggy but thankfully, also feeling so much better.
It's amazing how when you're upset people are there for you every step of the way, comforting you, asking after you regularly to make sure you're fine, even bearing with all your angsty, bitchy nonsense because they know you're just in a terrible mood and it will pass when you have cooled down. I'm sorry I have been such a horrible friend, only thinking of my own interests and ignoring what all of you have been trying to tell me. There's no reason to doubt my abilities when all of you believe in them so much. Need to start having more faith in my capabilities, but where to start?
I blogged once about being halfway up a ladder and a force constantly pushing you back. I know how that feels, and the feeling isn't something that one wants to experience, ever. Sure, setbacks help to build one's resilience, but what about multiple setbacks even after resilience has been built up so much? At some point, won't everything start crashing down, won't everything that has been accumulated start to crumble or crack at the lack of accomplishment? Tonight, I have crumbled, but I promise that I will get back on my feet, more importantly, start climbing that ladder again. I feel like I don't have enough time, but I know that's merely just an excuse. There's always gonna be time, it's how I'm planning on using that time. (Oh man, what a cliche again). I will finish this tough climb up, and emerge strong(er) than I am now.
I just happened to look out of my window. Everything looks so familiar, just as it always once was in the middle of the night. However, tonight, I see that the street lamps are glaring just a little bit brighter, I hear leaves rustling and falling onto the road (something I haven't seen for a long time), trees are swaying vigorously so it probably means it's going to rain, and I feel an impeccably strong sense of peace in my heart right now. I really hope this positive feeling lasts, cos I'm definitely going to need it. Thank God for helping me to see the light even in the darkness, all the time.
It's amazing how when you're upset people are there for you every step of the way, comforting you, asking after you regularly to make sure you're fine, even bearing with all your angsty, bitchy nonsense because they know you're just in a terrible mood and it will pass when you have cooled down. I'm sorry I have been such a horrible friend, only thinking of my own interests and ignoring what all of you have been trying to tell me. There's no reason to doubt my abilities when all of you believe in them so much. Need to start having more faith in my capabilities, but where to start?
I blogged once about being halfway up a ladder and a force constantly pushing you back. I know how that feels, and the feeling isn't something that one wants to experience, ever. Sure, setbacks help to build one's resilience, but what about multiple setbacks even after resilience has been built up so much? At some point, won't everything start crashing down, won't everything that has been accumulated start to crumble or crack at the lack of accomplishment? Tonight, I have crumbled, but I promise that I will get back on my feet, more importantly, start climbing that ladder again. I feel like I don't have enough time, but I know that's merely just an excuse. There's always gonna be time, it's how I'm planning on using that time. (Oh man, what a cliche again). I will finish this tough climb up, and emerge strong(er) than I am now.
I just happened to look out of my window. Everything looks so familiar, just as it always once was in the middle of the night. However, tonight, I see that the street lamps are glaring just a little bit brighter, I hear leaves rustling and falling onto the road (something I haven't seen for a long time), trees are swaying vigorously so it probably means it's going to rain, and I feel an impeccably strong sense of peace in my heart right now. I really hope this positive feeling lasts, cos I'm definitely going to need it. Thank God for helping me to see the light even in the darkness, all the time.
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