Setbacks.

Today I couldn't have felt more dampened in my emotions. Just wanna scream and shout and hope that along with the fading voice in the wind the worries and frustrations will fade as well. Yeah nobody wanted this to happen but it doesn't stop us from feeling horrible and helpless hais.

But today I also saw how my family members were so worried on my behalf and I kinda feel ashamed actually.. especially my father who told me 'If you were stuck in some random country with a pandemic I would be making a thousand calls to get you safely back in Singapore." And I felt so touched because I know that was what he would actually do if that happened to me. Thank you all of you, thank you. Even though I havent been very appreciative and I have in actual fact been so selfish, you all still kept sticking by me and worrying for me. Love you all.

It matters

Whenever I revisit my blogs and reread my posts over again, most of the time the content is so ambiguous that I can barely remember what the topic I was writing about was actually about. And I know this time it probably will be the same. Every flower starts off being a seed, which then slowly germinates and grows under care. I see that something is there, something is budding but it is but a mere opportunity. How to know what comes in the future? I cannot see and I cannot tell for sure, but I know with constant observation and chances this might become something tangible and worth it. Lord, if this is what You intend for my life, may it blossom and bear fruit and be pleasing to You. 

On hindsight, life has been hectic but on the whole, generally good to me. Many setbacks have happened, but at the same time, plentiful blessings of which I will document another time. For a short time now, I have a breather and time to restabilize myself (yay holidays!) and then off I go again to face another chapter of my life. And I am really looking forward to it! But I have also learnt that when one door opens, the other that has been left opened for a pretty long time has to be fully closed, and in my heart I cannot bear to do so just yet.. preparing myself emotionally for the change. I am sure it will be eventful. Thank You God.