Within.

Hello guys! School has started, and since this is my last semester, I have been trying to enjoy the last time I can be a university student (or any formal student for that matter) and so far, I have been doing that! Constantly wondering how much of all this elements of school life I will miss when I finally leave, and deep down in my heart, I know that I will, a whole lot and then some more. It's been hectic so far, despite it only being Week 2, but God is good to me and I have been allocated all the modules that I wanted (and needed) and almost all the tutorial slots I balloted for. Thank You for that :D

Today, I had dinner with a friend in school, and by the time I took the train and bus and walked home, it was already nightfall. I reached the elevator of my block, and I noticed an elderly woman and her domestic helper walking towards the same direction as me. The old lady was hobbling and walking really slowly, the maid walked beside her and supported her with one arm. I pressed the lift button, and waited for the lift to come down 9 storeys. I was really tired and just wanted nothing to do more than to step inside my house and embrace my bed. It took some time for the duo to reach the lift, and then the old woman took a bit more time to hobble inside the lift with the assistance of her helper. She looked really glum and uncaring to her surroundings, so the first thought that came to my mind was what a sullen, fierce looking person she must be.

How wrong I was, because while we were halfway up in the lift, she happened to turn towards me, and I caught a glance in her way as well, and her frowning face changed immediately into a jovial one. I smiled back at her out of courtesy. When the lift arrived at my floor, I looked at her again, and she smiled a second time, even wider and happier-looking than the first one. I bade her goodbye and walked out, the lift doors closing behind me. Frankly, I was really surprised at how the human expression can change so fast. I don't personally know this old lady, all I know now is that she stays on one of the floors above my house, and even that I am not entirely sure. However, when she smiled at me, a cuddly warmth filled my heart because she looked so appreciative that I held the lift door open for her. When people say a picture paints a thousand words, it is true, but I guess that means that a smile paints ten thousand then? And smiles go a long way too (: It is definitely difficult to explain, but all the urgency to get home vanished in just that instant, replaced by a certain contentedness that I don't usually feel. Thank you to this old lady that brightened up my lethargic Monday with your warmth and happiness. I hope to bump into you again.

And also a side note to self, don't judge a book by its cover, don't judge people based on physical appearances and first impressions. Have a great week ahead all! :D

Belated New Year

Here's my promised New Year post! Haha actually wrote out a long long chunk of words, but in the end, I decided to delete it and just post a short one for all of you to read. Shouldn't be too long-winded in the start of a brand new year right? I hope 2013 was a really good and meaningful year for all of you out there!

Written on 3rd January 2014, 
Reflections. 

2013 was a year of ups and downs for me, there were happy moments and sad moments, there were ridiculous moments and just a lot of in between nua-ing moments doing absolutely nothing and pondering on life. What I found different was how 2013 seemed to pass by so quickly. Everything just seemed to happen one after the other and in the libnk of an eye, I was counting down to a new year, in the place I was so familiar with and in the company of my loved ones. That being said, I feel last year was really a period of growth for me, in so many areas and I really learn to thank God for the situations He put me in.

At the beginning of 2013, everyone was busy making resolutions, except me. I figured that since I never fulfilled my resolutions anyway, I would just welcome the year without any sort of goal setting whatsoever. Then, a few days into 2013, I stumbled upon an image:

And I found it pretty cool and made a decision to follow through it. I know it is probably even more challenging than making resolutions, but I am so pleased to say that I have done it! 365 days, several hundred slips of colorful paper, and a physical record of the happy moments that happened every single day. It was really tough some days, I felt so tired but now I look back and I'm glad I have something that embodies the year in words so well. 

Throughout the year, thoughts regarding my future emerged time and again. I have mentioned before that I am someone who really fears uncertainty, and every time someone questions me about my immediate plans after graduation, I am at a loss for words. In the event that I will most probably be graduating in 6 months time, this question has been magnified a thousand times. Honestly, I am still unclear about what is in store for me, be it in terms of a career, in terms of relationships and friendships, and also fulfilling life goals in general, but I have to admit that I am scared, but at the same time, I am really anticipating what is to come. I was talking to God one night, and He revealed to me that 2014 is going to be a year in which great things will happen. A really close friend shared with me the same revelation a few days before 2013 ended, and hence, I will really throw in 100% effort to trust God for the future.

Of course, I want to thank all the people in my life for walking through 2013 with me. As I grow old(er), I know that my emotions have become much more unpredictable and there were so many times I just didn't feel in the mood to talk, but you guys still stuck by me. For this sole reason (and countless more), I am greatly appreciative from the bottom of my heart.  

I will remember everything I have done last year, be it minor things, major life decisions, every tear cried and every smile. From weekly Masterchef and Junior Masterchef nights (Thank you Rachel for squealing with me over cute contestants ^^) to relaxing more than I ever intended to during the December break (Watching Bang Bang Tang oldschool videos on replay from day till night), falling helplessly in love with a country and having such a strong desire to return for the first time (I will be back for you, Taiwan) to all the cafe, restaurant, kopitiam and gelato dates with my dear friends and family, to watching a fair number of musicals with le best friend (Thank you Vanessa, I hope we continue watching musicals together well until we are really old), to staying back in school every single night nearing the examination period (A first for me, never desired to work so hard in the area of academics before), to countless bus rides and walks home alone late at night (Which I will always, always treasure because I know that I could never get those days back again). I have experienced so much love and care in 2013, I would not trade the world for any experience I have gone through.

Once again, thank you 2013 for the memories. 

That being said, may 2014 be a jolly good year for all of us! 

A new year, A new start

Happy New Year everybody! 

I initially planned to do a reflection of 2013 on New Year's Day itself, but I fell sick, and spent NY's Day sleeping haha. Reflection post will come up sometime during this week, after I gather my thoughts and pen them down. 

Last night was Chosen Gen's Vision Night 2014, and it was a good way to start the year and get priorities back on track for me. In 2014, I strive to make Jesus Lord of my life. Not just in a particular area, but in ALL areas. Admittingly, it is difficult for me to commit all aspects of my life to God, because I am someone who likes to see immediate results according to my own plan. This year, I will take a step back and listen earnestly to what God wants for my life, no matter how challenging it might be. 

I have always been afraid of uncertainty. It's an indescribable fear which I'm sure has troubled countless other people as well. I know that 2014 is going to be an uncertain and unpredictable year, because of current circumstances that I'm facing. However, I also know that 2014 is going to be an unforgettable year because amazing things are going to happen. And because of that, I know that whatever happens, God is in control and He is at work. Turning uncertainty into assurance is more than a scary thing, but with the Father by my side, I will trust that everything turns out fine. 

Dear Jesus, please be Lord of my life this 2014.