How difficult is it to find balance on a seesaw that is built to slant towards the right or the left? And then again, how difficult is it to maintain that balance once you have figured out an inkling of it?
I find myself cherishing every moment more and more and I know I need to control my feelings but this is not working out how I want it to.. abd if things ever go more haywire than it already is, I want myself to remember, at least, before having to let go.
I treasure every moment you came to find me, even if it were without words, even if just a few words were exchanged, even if you were just passing by. You dont say much but your presence is enough. It is a respite even.
I treasure every effort you made to make me feel better, even if it was unintentional on your part. Thank you for constantly giving me tidbits, for buying food for me , for asking if I have eaten. Its not much and it may not even mean anything but I am grateful really.
I treasure your thoughtfulness, even if it is towards everybody, I think you are a good person and I am glad for you as a friend. Thank you for waiting for the bus with me whenever you could, for helping me check bus timings, for helping me figure out the fastest way to get to certain places, for just walking with me, its comforting to have your presence next to me.
Theres so many more things I can list out, that I can express thanks on this platform for, but a part of me asks myself; what is the use? Because I know I will never dare to say all this to you in person abd it defeats the purpose cos you will never know. But what if you knew then? Would things be worse? Would things be better? I know I cannot risk it but I want to remember all of this. Before it becomes nothing forever.
Thank you for sparing some time for me in your life. I am thankful, really thankful. I dont think I have a right to ask for more, but maybe for now this is more than enough.
