Wednesday, May 15, 2013

#30daychallenge Day 2

Hi guys! I know I have spammed this newly-created space but I can't help it! Hehe. Today's actually the 2nd day of my #30daychallenge project, and I just finished writing the second entry not long ago. Today's topic was really random and I thought of it in a flash, but it's something that rings back close to my heart, and I felt it deserved a spot above all the other topics I decide to write later on.

Here is the person I respect most in the entire world, and it's just really one of those things that is extremely personal to you, yet you want to share it with the whole world so they can see how beautiful it is as well. And today what can be more apt than this beautiful woman?

Sorry for the grainy picture, and my messy hair. But the highlight should be on the person next to me. ^^
Taken 14th May 2013

 Hi everybody, meet the person I respect the most in the world, my beloved grandmother. I call her 'Mama' as an endearing term, and that describes how she is exactly, a lovely woman in my eyes, and I'm sure in the eyes of everyone who knows her as well.

She has been an important part of my life pretty much since I was born. I was flipping through a photo album and there was a photo of her holding my newborn self. I looked so tiny, and she looked so young, and I couldn't help but smile to myself. When we were still living in our old house, she would commute from her house to ours every SINGLE day just to take care of us. When I stepped out of the school gates after school every afternoon, she would be standing there, waving happily at me, and then we would proceed to walk home together, she carrying my crazily-heavy school bag. When she packed up to leave home, I remember my childish self crying because I didn't want her to go. But she would go, and then I would take comfort in the fact that she would appear again the next day without fail.

There were many times my childish self took her for granted. She would scold me for the things I did wrong, she would nag at me a lot to study hard and be a useful person in the future, and sometimes I demanded more and more from her than what she had already gave me. Now I look back and I think, what was wrong with me? Her harshness towards me is completely justified, because without those advices and naggings, I probably wouldn't know how important it is to work hard and be serious in whatever you do. Thank you Mama, for teaching me lessons I could never have learnt in any classroom, nor from any textbook no matter how well-written it was. I want to tell you I am sorry for the times I have not treated you well, or even ignored you, just because I was so preoccupied with doing my own stuff my own way. I realize it's completely wrong and I want to tell you I have changed for the better. I hope you can see the change in me, and that you will be happy as well. To a huge extent, you made me a better person.

Before we moved to my current house, there was a 2 month period where we had nowhere to go for we had sold the condo, yet the new flat wasn't ready yet. Mama kindly offered her house for all of us to stay in temporarily. I was so happy, because I could see her everyday. Even though it was a squeeze for all of us, she still shared her bed and living room with us willingly. I slept at really late hours, so I would remember all the times she would get up to cover blankets for us, to check if the aircon was too hot or too cold, and she would stay up to wait for us if we stayed out late. She would make honey water for me every morning, and ask me to bathe when I reached home because the sun was too unbearably hot. When we moved to the current house we are staying in now, which is ridiculously deserted and in the middle of nowhere (perks of being the last block on the estate), she didn't come round as much anymore. Even I feel the exhaustion from having to walk 15 minutes under the scorching hot sun just to get to my block, so I understand. Now that I am bigger and more independent, I visit her at her house instead. Sometimes it's difficult, with schedules being filled up really fast especially during school durations, but then again, I would sacrifice any amount of time as long as I can spend it with her. I remember during the holidays when we would meet weekly, chilling over zi char at the coffeeshop that was downstairs her house, or preparing home-cooked food in her tiny one-room flat together. I don't usually like to cook, but I'll always look forward to cooking at Mama's house because it's so much more fun.

It's hard to find people who love you wholeheartedly with whatever they have, but Mama makes doing that sound effortless. She's a small woman (runs in the genes), but she's got one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. I remember when I broke up and was a huge wreck, crying uncontrollably every day and refusing to come out of my room. She cried with me and for me, and that was the first time I saw her cry. I was scared, and I vowed never to make her shed tears anymore. I remember when I casually mentioned about getting a computer, and she brought me to Best Denki to buy one before the month was over. I'm typing on it now, and I would never forget the sentimental value of this old baby, even though it can get cranky and slow, I still love it dearly. She would patiently listen to me talk about my random days and friends in my horribly broken Chinese, but she would still laugh along with me and give me advice when I needed it. She would walk me to the busstop everytime after our dinner, wait for me to board the bus and wave, before walking to buy the newspaper and making her way back home. She would give me money everytime I went to visit her, and no matter how much I tried to push away, she would refuse to take it back. It was funny, I remember. She taught me to make wanton (dumplings) from scratch, and cook wanton soup. During Chinese New Year every year, she would prepare a huge spread for all of us, even with abalone which I love, but no one else seems to eat.

I always picture her at my wedding, in the future, and then I would give a speech about how she is the most important person in my life, and how I am amazed at the extent of her capacity to love. It's funny how when little memories of the people you love come flooding back, you get all choked up yet immense happiness bubbles inside of you all at once. I don't want to imagine the day Mama is gone and I would have to live my life without her, but I know it is inevitable and we all perish one day. But I know that before any of that happens, I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with the woman I love like no tomorrow.

Mama, I just want to say that without you, I will not be where I am today. I can't express my gratitude enough for whatever you have done for me all my life, and I want you to be happy and safe. That is all. When you are smiling, I will smile too. Someone told me I inherited your features and that we look similar, and I was happy, because to me, you are the most beautiful person inside and out, in my life and I am honoured to take after you.

MAMA, 我爱你很多很多! Xie xie ni. 

That's about it, and to be honest, I teared up while crafting this post because I felt so overwhelmed with love. She's the person who inspired me to love and appreciate people for who they are, and for that itself I am eternally grateful. Sorry for my long-windedness! 


Will you try the #30daychallenge out as well? I would love it if I knew that I'm not the only solo crazy person doing this out there! (:

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